The One With the Walkoff
Temecula, CA (AP) - In this Boyd's Beat, sightings of T-fed in Riverside, a guest appearance by "Sisqo," and a zoolander walkoff-Itstheleague.com style.
Contrary to Matthew Reyes's (author of GOTW for itstheleague.com) contention, the Game of the Week he posted was not an epic battle (nothing against Michael or Daniel). Why? The real battle occuring this week is between DreamTeamPartDeux and Shoot Da J Bitch. What? You haven't heard. It's a fantasy walk off--Zoolander style!
Yes it is a sin Matthew Reyes did not mention it, but this reporter has inside knowledge that a walkoff happened Saturday night at a warehouse in Temecula (equidistant from both San Diego and Riverside).What were the logistics of the walk off? Matt and Trent's abilities in several categories were ranked:
- Fashion
- Dance
- Beer Pong
- Pimp
- Lip sing
The categories were judged by the audience. Not only did many fans of each owners' teams show up, there were several local celebrities present. Dave Chappelle showed up to root Trent on. However I think crowds were more stunned to see MJ show up to support Matt. Judging the competition to make sure no rules were broken was none other than David Bowie. David's prior walk off experience was in a cult hit called Zoolander.
Scoring was entirely based on audience applause (similar to the scoring done in Starsky and Hutch during the dance off there). So without further ado, here's how it went down.
Fashion
Arguably the easiest category of the walkoff pentathon (yes, five category event, pentathon), this allowed each owner to get warmed up before the grueling challenge of the later categories.
The rules for this category were simple, each owner comes out on the catwalk with their best outfit. Sounds simple? Yeah. Well one of the owners still managed to screw it up.
Matt's entry was this:
This was interesting. It was a solid effort on his part, and deciding to bring a girl out with on stage definitely added to the audience response (an idea that Trent definitely learned from and used against Matt in a later dance entry), but in going Top Gun style, Matt definitely did take a risk. Fans in his corner had mixed reactions.I think the reaction that Matt worried Matt most was the look he saw on Michael Jordan's face (picture below).
Look at that anger. I mean this has to impact a guy who memorizes the voiceovers to Michael Jordan highlight reels. Additionally, Matt has only seen Michael Jordan up close once (and that was in Hawaii). This time he came to actually support Matt in the walkoff. And I'm sure Matt seeing MJ react in this fashion did not sit well with him.So what did Trent bring to the table? This masterpiece:
Not only does he look fly/tight/sweet, he pulls it off with an amazing pose. Conjuring images of Rodin's Thinker (pictured), the outfit does an excellent job of blending old and new. The pose invites the observer to think back to the classic, the masterpieces that humanity from times of yore have to boast of. The sweater is the great transitional piece that ties the old with new. The sweater, originating as worn here, brings the outfit into modern day. The watch is a nice touch as well.As you can tell, the crowd responded quite well. Trent's biggest fan? The girl just to the right.
Fashion: Shoot da J Bitch
Dance
Going into this category, I was quite torn as to who was the underdog. I've seen Matt and Trent dance many times with many people (but most often dancing with each other). You won't find any ballroom dancing here. Dancing with the stars may be popular across the country, but on that cold, blistery night in an old warehouse in Temecula, this crowd would definitely not dig it.
Rather than see an outright head to head challenge, Matt threw down some old school, taking it back to the 80's, Matt went with a little 80's remix that looked likea perfect replica of Stilfer's fine work in American Wedding (seen below).
Trent's entry featured a little dancing by him, but more dancing by young scantily clad women. Yes the crowd loved it and yes Trent won this category. However, sadly, several of the women dancing may have been underage. After they removed their clothes for the encore, the Riverside DA's office began to investigate for possible violations of child welfare laws (hmmm...this seems to be a common theme in our league).
Dance: Shoot da J Bitch
Beer Pong
Having first hand knowledge of both Matt and Trent's skills, I knew this would be a very close match. With Trent up 2-0 and Matt now having to keep winning to avoid ending the walkoff early, Trent may have entered this event a bit cocky (and who wouldn't be cocky after winning the dance off by simply walking out and having lots of beautiful women dance around you). Also, author's note: I may be a bit biased in my description of this category as Trent has been a beer pong partner of mine in past matches (which usually result in us dominating).