The One Where The League Gets New Names

Las Vegas, CA - (AP) It's been weeks since the It's The League (ITL) Draft and sadly, the league is stuck with many of the same sad names that have failed to bring them the glory they so desperately yearn for. In this article, Boyd's Beat will review some of the names that were mauled over by owners, only to be discarded to the wayside.

Big changes for the league this year. The first notable one was the unfortunate demise of the franchise formerly known as Bangladesh Thunder. In honor of the departure of one of the original teams, ITL commissioned the following video to be produced in Thunder Dan's honor.

With the demise of the Bangladesh Thunder, ITL scrambled to find a replacement and chose to hire a company that is quite good at searching for things for you--Google (which also happens to be a Lightning Jeffs sponsor). Google promised ITL they would search far and wide to give us an owner of the caliber we were used to. You know, make the playoffs and then fail miserably.

We received news in early August that Google had failed. Rather than searching far and wide (as they had promised) Google failed to even look outside its own company. Alas, over the summer ITL was joined by Mr. Lodha proud owner of team ItsTheRookie.

I know what you're thinking...Its The Rookie? What a horrible team name choice. It's okay Karan, it's an art, not a science. So without further ado, here are the team names that should have been picked by each owner: (to be read by your inner reading voice similar to a David Letterman Top Ten List)

1. Bye Week

Rojas takes an interesting shot at his team. Much like Steve Nash (former MVP) telling Suns fans that he doesn't think his team will make the playoffs this year. And the year hasn't even started.

Elmer's Turkoglu

And I see your smack talk Rojas. Try working for trophies or plaques rather than Fantasy Medals. Oh I'm sorry, you did win a trophy this year.

2. ItsTheRookie

Ibaka to the Future (because of the presence of Oklahoma City Center Serge Ibaka).

3. War Monkeys

Rumor has it the War Monkeys were considering changing names (after the draft):

Dengorade

Nash Potatoes and Gravy

4. Tastykake Phanatic

Duarte was tossing around these gems:

Kobe or not to be?

Villanueva Ice Cream

5. Money $hooters

Felton Young Varejao

Results May Varejao

6. Johnny's Bananas

Chris Kaman Her Rose

7. Loud Lezbos

Magette and Meatballs

Love-Lee Day

Lebron has a Love-Lee HayWood

Lebron has a Love-Lee Johnson

Uh-Oh Magette-O!

8. The MonStars

Problem Gasolved!

Ariza, It's a Holiday

Jrue Lies

Arizan Not Necessary

Jrue's Clues

Don't Bring Guns to Arenas

9. I Felton Her Bibby's

Sadly, Mr. Bridges did not get Raymond Felton. However, the other half of his hilarious name is on the waiver wire. Perhaps we'll see some movement from Bridges to trade for Felton to make this name possible. If it doesn't work out, here are some options:

Broad Side of a Bargnani

Would you like some Fryes with that?

10. Rattlesnakes

Zach Randolph with a Harden. Think about it.

11. Kevdog's Ballers

I know you love this team name but come on, how about trying something new....

ReDirkulous

Bosh Spice

12. Lightning Jeffs

Perfect team name for a perfect owner.

As a new season begins, it's good to remember how you spent all your free time before basketball season started because half of you won't be making the playoffs and will have a longer offseason (to hopefully ponder better team names).

Remember to take care of yourselves, and each other.