The One Where Boyd Blows

Riverside, CA (AP) - Itstheleague.com had a flurry of activity yesterday with a poker outing at the Reyes Residence. With nine twelfths of the league in attendance, the only order for the day was to discuss the recent success the league has received. With attendance at games at an all time high, league owners had quite a bit to be thankful for in light of the upcoming holiday. Michael Boyd spent much of the night bitching (surprise surprise), but the most common gripe the owners expressed was a lack of basketball games on Thanksgiving.

Matthew Reyes the only owner in favor of the no games on Thanksgiving day policy had this to say, "I support the decision by the Itstheleague.com commissioners in not scheduling games on this momentous holiday. Of course a day should be set aside to commemorate this, the twenty-third year of my existence on this earth." Matt abruptly stopped when league commissioner Kevin Reyes coughed and whispered into Matt's ear that there weren't any games because it was Thanksgiving, not his birthday. Sorry Matt. Maybe next year?

Prior to Cody Schumacher, owner of the recently renamed Rattlesnakes team, stole all of our chips at poker, there was a 9 hole golf outing that occurred between Michael Boyd, Jeffrey Boyd, and Cody Schumacher. Michael Boyd is owner of Boyd Blows (I mean...ummm....No Luck Boyd). Jeffrey Boyd is the Lightning Jeffs owner, writer of the award winning Boyd's Beat, and voted favorite Boyd by eight Itstheleague.com members. Cody Schumacher is an Itstheleague.com member and a member of the 2006 WCS Golf Tournament champion (a title he should be stripped of as he played with a club pro).

Before the golf outing though, Michael had to find his golf shoes. Now something we all know about Michael is that he likes to cuss. Something you may not know about Michael is his perpensity to lose things. My mind goes back to trips on the way to school.

Michael mutters something under his breath (which has a 90% chance of being a cuss word). Michael then says (halfway to school mind you) "I've only got one shoe."

Yet another incident that comes to mind involves us leaving from school. As I back out the Suburban, I feel our rear tires go over something. In a parking lot full of kids, my first reaction is crap, I ran over a kid again. But no, we get out, it's Michael's backpack, and I had run over it.

So, on Wednesday as we go to golf, Michael can't find his golf shoes. Surprise surprise. He looks in his car:


Swear word.


He looks in the garage. Swear word.

Twenty minutes later, he finally checks his own closet. Lo and behold, there they are. So my advice to you, if you have lost anything, ever. It is probably in Michael's closet. Let's review a list of my items that I had previously written off as lost that have been found in
Michael's closet:

-my 7 iron
-a red tie
-black socks
-brown belt
-two suits
-1 pair of athletic shorts

Now that Michael had his shoes, we could play.

Look at that gay smile.

Over under on number of swear words used by Michael? It's hard to measure when there's just a continous stream of filth coming from his mouth. Although, Matt dropped a few nice choice ones in his Game of the Week. If we got both of them together on a golf course...wow. There's a book Matt Reyes co-authored with my dad called 1000 Ways to F*** up a Good Drive.

So back to the match, clearly Cody beat Michael and myself. We were quite bored with the actual match. But I did manage to capture a few of the nice shots.

Here we have Michael on the fourth hole. Where is his ball? That's right. In the creek.


So rather than take a drop, Michael decides to hit it. Yes he did get a decent club on it, but really, what was it worth? Because if you ask him, after he got in the creek. He said he hit the wrong ball.



You should watch the whole thing. The end makes it worth it. Here's Michael's next shot. He's on the green on hole five. This shot is for par. Let's see how he does.



UPDATE: FCC rules require restrictions of obscenities being aired in front of kids. As a result, the audio has been deleted from these videos as a precaution.

Also note, the reason why the shoes leave the screen so fast is because Michael began a putter throw immediately afterwards. He then took his golf glove off and threw it in a bunker.

Here's Michael hitting a crappy shot. He's on hole 6, but his tee shot landed on hole 4. Nice work Michael.



That's about it. Cody was there too.



Nice work Cody. Right back atcha buddy.

And I was there as well.

Michael has indicated that he will "kick my ass" on the golf course tomorrow. We'll see if his prediction holds true.

In closing, there was some interesting news reported out of the Poker Room at the Reyes Residence last night. Daniel Thomson (formerly sued for use of the word "Thunder" in affiliation with his name) made a bet with Matt Nichols (formerly feared to be stricken with a disease that prevented him with communicating with anyone inside the league). Under the terms, if Daniel Thomson wins this week, Matt Nichols has to wash his car. If Matt Nichols wins, Daniel Thomson has to decorate Matt Nichols' Christmas tree. It is interesting to note that I am person who came closest to beating Nichols.

With that said, rest assured the results will be reported here as soon as they're in.